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Tuesday, December 22, 2009
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Do you uplift or destroy with your logic? The Ace of Swords
Sometimes, holistic thinkers are all over the place, and it can show itself in their environment and in the way they conduct ourselves. The office worker whose desk is always a disaster can actually manage quite well for a time, knowing what is where on his desk almost by intuition. An employee who thinks holistically might make a proposal to her boss in a roundabout manner, because she sees the big picture and has trouble communicating in a linear fashion. This can drive a linear thinker crazy and make them impatient.
The office worker needs to take time occasionally to tidy his desk. Both parties in a discussion need to understand how the other communicates. Rational thinkers need to give holistic thinkers time to get to the point, and holistic thinkers need to structure their communication better so as to be heard by rational thinkers and not try their patience.
When our homes, offices or lives are in disarray, applying a linear strategy is often the most expeditious way to get the problem solved. Make a list of things to tackle. Start at one end of a room and clean to the other end. You'll feel better and more organized afterward. The new year is a great time to start off with a clean slate, so use the holidays to tidy up and get organized for January.
On the flip side, we need to be careful not to be overly rational when facing an emotional situation. Sometimes, we can escape into our heads when our hearts feel overwhelmed. It takes courage to be truly present when a loved one is hurting or when we ourselves are upset. When we get together with friends and family over the holidays, we can avoid conflict by trying to understand our different communication styles and being patient with someone who may say their piece with more emotion or in indirect ways. We can keep our heart open as well as our ears.
Rational thinking has its place in terms of organization and helping complete tasks efficiently, but it must be married to the softer, intuitive side of our nature so that we maintain our compassion and humanity in all situations. When that balance is struck, we move forward in our lives in harmony.
Monday, December 21, 2009
The Bull in the China Shop - The Prince of Swords
As we finish up preparation for our holiday festivities, it's easy to get impatient with long lines at the store, recipes that don't turn out the way we planned, and last-minute changes to our holiday get-togethers.
This prince can also lapse into confusion when things don't go his way. He's so singleminded that when plans go awry, he lacks the flexibility to go with the change in flow.
It's important during this hectic time of year to reprioritize and remind ourselves what the season is really about, and don't sweat the small stuff.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Tarot Card of the Day - The Eight of Pentacles
The eight of pentacles prompts us to recognize ourselves as divine beings. To do this, we have to use whatever means are available to us to plumb our own depths and discover what we are when we strip away our ego identities and all the material trappings that prop them up.
We can meditate, scry, and explore what lies behind the lucid dream. We can disconnect from the noise of the thinking mind and attain a state of pure beingness during meditation. We can interact directly with our subconscious archetypal material with scrying, and we can learn to realize clear light consciousness with further exploration of the lucid dream state.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Not again - This time, I'm revisiting the Queen of Pentacles!
To this end, watch your life for synchronicities, repeating patterns, seeing the same object repeatedly. The universe is sending a strong message. I always say, if you see it three times, sit up and take notice.
Here's a fun experiment: do several different spreads in a row and see how often at least one of the cards you turn up is the same. I've done readings where the same card shows up two spreads in a row and in the same location.
To balance out the Queen of Pentacles, be sure to bring compassion into play. When abundance comes your way, remember that it's always a flow in and out. So, be sure to give where you can of your time if not your money. It's all about the energy exchange.
Consider whether there is balance in your life in terms of spiritual and material emphasis. Are you so focused on paying the bills and putting the holidays together that you've not taken time out for your spiritual practice? Be sure to enjoy the etheric as well as the tangible things in life!
Friday, December 18, 2009
The Same Card - Would you believe it?
Each morning, I pick a tarot card to provide a reading on the events of the day. Today, I shuffled the deck and picked the same card I chose yesterday - the ten of swords. What are the odds?
I took this as a prompt to examine the issues this card brings up more deeply. So, if you have a tendency to waver between defensiveness and reclusiveness, both of which are protective mechanisms to ward off hurt, you have to acknowledge that these mechanisms are actually masking fear. At some point, we've been hurt by someone important to us and we developed ways to keep people at bay so we wouldn't have to risk that level of hurt again.
So below the fear we can usually find grief. A loss of some kind or a sense of abandonment has left us at sea, not being able to trust in a benevolent universe or God. We don our armour, prepared to attack or retreat, when what we really need to do is stand our ground without the armour and take the risk of being loved and accepted or being rejected.
How do we do that? We acknowledge that we have the strength to let in love or withstand rejection. We take the responsibility of experiencing our loss and sense of abandonment for what it is without adding on top of it any value judgment on our own lovableness. We accept that this feeling comes to all of us at some point in our lives, because someone who is also suffering in their own way inadvertently hurt us because they were not able to look beyond their own pain to address our needs.
A good exercise is to simply experience our defensiveness without analysis, and feel it drop down into fear (even abject terror). Stay patient with the feeling and watch it dissolve down into grief. Allow tears and a softening at the heart and experience your own vulnerability.
Stay with this long enough and you'll start to feel an opening of emotion at the heart. You may feel young and childlike. You may sense your connection with the divine that is a natural part of allowing yourself to be truly open emotionally. You may come full circle and realize that divine love is always there, cradling you, despite any rejection that may be handed out in this world. In arriving at divine love, you find the cure for your loss and, therefore, an ability to make your way in the world without wearing armour or carrying a sword.
I took this as a prompt to examine the issues this card brings up more deeply. So, if you have a tendency to waver between defensiveness and reclusiveness, both of which are protective mechanisms to ward off hurt, you have to acknowledge that these mechanisms are actually masking fear. At some point, we've been hurt by someone important to us and we developed ways to keep people at bay so we wouldn't have to risk that level of hurt again.
So below the fear we can usually find grief. A loss of some kind or a sense of abandonment has left us at sea, not being able to trust in a benevolent universe or God. We don our armour, prepared to attack or retreat, when what we really need to do is stand our ground without the armour and take the risk of being loved and accepted or being rejected.
How do we do that? We acknowledge that we have the strength to let in love or withstand rejection. We take the responsibility of experiencing our loss and sense of abandonment for what it is without adding on top of it any value judgment on our own lovableness. We accept that this feeling comes to all of us at some point in our lives, because someone who is also suffering in their own way inadvertently hurt us because they were not able to look beyond their own pain to address our needs.
A good exercise is to simply experience our defensiveness without analysis, and feel it drop down into fear (even abject terror). Stay patient with the feeling and watch it dissolve down into grief. Allow tears and a softening at the heart and experience your own vulnerability.
Stay with this long enough and you'll start to feel an opening of emotion at the heart. You may feel young and childlike. You may sense your connection with the divine that is a natural part of allowing yourself to be truly open emotionally. You may come full circle and realize that divine love is always there, cradling you, despite any rejection that may be handed out in this world. In arriving at divine love, you find the cure for your loss and, therefore, an ability to make your way in the world without wearing armour or carrying a sword.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Upcoming Workshops
Sign up for my workshops at www.tarotkingston.com. Book all five and get one of them free! $150 value for $120. All workshops are being held at the Wellington Street Theatre, 126 Wellington Street, Kingston, ON on Sundays from 1 to 5 p.m.
Reading the Human Energy Field: Parts 1 and 2 - Jan 17, 24
Lucid Dreaming: Awakening in the Dream State - Feb 21
Tarot, Runes and your Intuition - Feb 28
Writing from the Inner Voice - Mar 7
See you there!
Reading the Human Energy Field: Parts 1 and 2 - Jan 17, 24
Lucid Dreaming: Awakening in the Dream State - Feb 21
Tarot, Runes and your Intuition - Feb 28
Writing from the Inner Voice - Mar 7
See you there!
Tarot Card of the Day - Ten of Swords
The Ten of Swords is about things coming to a head. We can look at both edges of the sword this way:
1. When you enter into family gatherings, are you going in expecting to fight with a particular relative because you usually do? If that's the case, try to move into the situation with fresh eyes, looking for the good in this person instead of searching for something to react to. Practice relaxation and breathing exercises in their presence so that you can drop your defensive posture and find ways to enjoy being in their presence. Better yet, try to understand why they say things that push your button. What is it inside of you that reacts and why? What is it inside of them that causes them to act the way they do?
Rather than allow a situation to escalate, see if you can't cut it through with the sword of compassion and understanding and put a halt to the cycle of reaction.
2. The other side of the sword is the need to speak up where you have habitually stayed silent. In some cases, dropping a defensive stance doesn't cause the other person to shift their behaviour. There is never a need to withstand putdowns and abuse. If your habit is to stew silently while being mistreated, then this card is an indicator that you now need to speak up and take care of yourself or others who are being disrespected.
Only you in your own wisdom know whether you need to defuse a situation or defend yourself. Trust you'll know in the circumstances which side of the sword to use.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Tarot Card of the Day - The Queen of Pentacles
The Queen of Pentacles is all about the bling. She's focused on having and acquiring the good things in the material realm. There's nothing wrong with wanting to enjoy the riches that the earth has for us. In fact, it's part of our experience as humans in the physical realm to experience sensual pleasure. However, we must balance satisfaction of our desires with the needs of others and of our planet.
Take time to find simple ways to thrill your sensual self, whether that is in taking time with your loved ones, going for a walk in the woods, or enjoying a good meal. Take what you will to enjoy yourself, but be sure to give back too. The queen cards also represent the maternal, so remember to take care of the ultimate mother - Earth - and find ways to give back to her at the same time that you enjoy her treasures.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Tarot Card of the Day - The Hanged Man
The computer screws up and dumps the entire document you had almost finished creating but hadn't saved. Your car won't start. The job you wanted doesn't pan out. All around you, doors are closing, and there is no open window in sight.
It's at these times that we are the hanged man, feeling restricted - perhaps even cheated - by life. Nothing we turn our hand to comes to fruition.
If you're living in the realm of the hanged man at the moment, the counsel here is for patience. It's not that nothing is happening. It's just that it hasn't manifested in the external world yet. Take this time of inactivity in the outer world to go inward. Often, when the doors close around us, it's a prompting from the universe to do the work within.
Once the shift occurs there, the external world must and will change to reflect that. For now, however, patience and inner practice are demanded of you by your higher self that knows better than you the road that lies ahead.
The Necessity of Cocooning
Do you ever have that feeling that the universe wants you to take some time off from focusing on the external world? Either there is less pull from the outside world for you to participate or you feel a drawing inward, a need to turn your attention to that still, small voice within.
Like a fall leaf curling in on itself, I find myself cocooning more in the winter months - and the outside world seems to reflect that intent. Falling snow silences the noises of the busy street. Darkness comes earlier each day, inviting me to cease my daytime activities and grow introspective.
I prefer to finish my Christmas preparations early in December, because the latter half of the month always requires of me a stock-taking for the coming year. I want to give myself that time to take care of any loose ends in the office, clearing away old paperwork to make for a fresh start in January. More importantly though, I want to sit quietly, with the snow muffling the world outside, with the dogs sleeping at my feet, with the darkness prodding me inward to listen to the voice I've been too busy to heed. It reminds me of who I am and my purpose on the planet. It gives me my footing so I know come January what my next step should be.
In the new year, I will venture outward again, each day growing brighter with the increasing daylight, my sense of purpose and the energy to activate it gaining with the change of season. Gradually, I will shuck my cocoon, more sure of myself and my goals, moving with the promise of fulfillment that always comes with the spring.
Like a fall leaf curling in on itself, I find myself cocooning more in the winter months - and the outside world seems to reflect that intent. Falling snow silences the noises of the busy street. Darkness comes earlier each day, inviting me to cease my daytime activities and grow introspective.
I prefer to finish my Christmas preparations early in December, because the latter half of the month always requires of me a stock-taking for the coming year. I want to give myself that time to take care of any loose ends in the office, clearing away old paperwork to make for a fresh start in January. More importantly though, I want to sit quietly, with the snow muffling the world outside, with the dogs sleeping at my feet, with the darkness prodding me inward to listen to the voice I've been too busy to heed. It reminds me of who I am and my purpose on the planet. It gives me my footing so I know come January what my next step should be.
In the new year, I will venture outward again, each day growing brighter with the increasing daylight, my sense of purpose and the energy to activate it gaining with the change of season. Gradually, I will shuck my cocoon, more sure of myself and my goals, moving with the promise of fulfillment that always comes with the spring.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Growing Up: The Final Stage
When we're young, it's part of our growing up process to adapt our behaviour to the expectations of our parents and other authority figures. Rebelling, we discover, makes our lives more difficult, so many of us begin to govern our behaviour in order to win the approval of the people with the power.
This adaptation becomes such an intrinsic part of our behaviour that it can carry over into our lives as adults. While to some degree, this adaptation is a good thing - ensuring that most of us adhere to laws and use cultural cues such as manners to get along with each other - it can also become a stumbling block to our own development.
The final stage in growing up is to truly become who you are meant to be, and that of necessity means basing that evolutionary process on your intuition and not others' opinions of how you should behave and what goals you should pursue.
This stage of development is extremely difficult for many of us who have family responsibilities and work obligations. Still, it behooves all of us to the best of our ability to listen to our intuition and recognize when we are needlessly limiting ourselves because of our concern about how others may react.
We've forgotten who we were as children, before we got overly concerned with the opinions of adults. We've forgotten to be silly. We've forgotten to take chances. We've forgotten to trust our initial feelings about things and people. We've forgotten to listen to our intuition.
Several times a day, try to catch yourself altering your behaviour based on how others will respond to your actions. Decide whether you really need to take their opinion or reaction seriously. If the choice you're making doesn't affect that person directly, ask yourself if you really need to take their viewpoint into account on this occasion.
It's unsettling when we strike out on our own, doing what feels right for us despite people who disagree with our choices or who want us to conform to a particular view they have of the kind of person we are. It's unsettling to stand apart from the herd and trust an inner voice that may ask you to be a maverick from time to time. Yet, in the end all you leave this life with is you - and the choices you made.
This adaptation becomes such an intrinsic part of our behaviour that it can carry over into our lives as adults. While to some degree, this adaptation is a good thing - ensuring that most of us adhere to laws and use cultural cues such as manners to get along with each other - it can also become a stumbling block to our own development.
The final stage in growing up is to truly become who you are meant to be, and that of necessity means basing that evolutionary process on your intuition and not others' opinions of how you should behave and what goals you should pursue.
This stage of development is extremely difficult for many of us who have family responsibilities and work obligations. Still, it behooves all of us to the best of our ability to listen to our intuition and recognize when we are needlessly limiting ourselves because of our concern about how others may react.
We've forgotten who we were as children, before we got overly concerned with the opinions of adults. We've forgotten to be silly. We've forgotten to take chances. We've forgotten to trust our initial feelings about things and people. We've forgotten to listen to our intuition.
Several times a day, try to catch yourself altering your behaviour based on how others will respond to your actions. Decide whether you really need to take their opinion or reaction seriously. If the choice you're making doesn't affect that person directly, ask yourself if you really need to take their viewpoint into account on this occasion.
It's unsettling when we strike out on our own, doing what feels right for us despite people who disagree with our choices or who want us to conform to a particular view they have of the kind of person we are. It's unsettling to stand apart from the herd and trust an inner voice that may ask you to be a maverick from time to time. Yet, in the end all you leave this life with is you - and the choices you made.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Creating Connection During the Holidays
It's early morning. The dogs are curled around my legs as I lie in bed, and James, our manx cat, has not yet woken from his favourite perch on my office chair to tell me that it's his breakfast time. I want to savour the quietude, but my brain is already abuzz with its list of tasks for the day. There always seems to be something to accomplish - and the holidays create a blender effect of escalating duties that fill the imagination, crowding out the tranquility of the present moment.
It's so easy at this time of year to get caught up in holiday preparation and lose our connection, not only with others, but with ourselves. It's often difficult to shut down that anxious voice in our heads with its list that seems to be longer than the one Santa reserves for good children. Rather than try to shut it down, I suggest you take that extra few minutes in the morning to feel that tension to which the mind gives voice. Experience the fire in the body that stress creates. It's interesting to see how that anxiety shifts and slows when we give it attention rather than fight it off.
Take time, this season, to stop a moment in your bustling about and acknowledge your feelings. Don't worry about labeling them or figuring out where they came from. Just stop to feel - the same way we're often told to give pause for breath in yoga class. Just feel for a moment and allow your body and its emotions to come to rest. You'll continue into your day with a different perspective by being patient with yourself and your feelings each morning and whenever you can during the day.
It's so easy at this time of year to get caught up in holiday preparation and lose our connection, not only with others, but with ourselves. It's often difficult to shut down that anxious voice in our heads with its list that seems to be longer than the one Santa reserves for good children. Rather than try to shut it down, I suggest you take that extra few minutes in the morning to feel that tension to which the mind gives voice. Experience the fire in the body that stress creates. It's interesting to see how that anxiety shifts and slows when we give it attention rather than fight it off.
Take time, this season, to stop a moment in your bustling about and acknowledge your feelings. Don't worry about labeling them or figuring out where they came from. Just stop to feel - the same way we're often told to give pause for breath in yoga class. Just feel for a moment and allow your body and its emotions to come to rest. You'll continue into your day with a different perspective by being patient with yourself and your feelings each morning and whenever you can during the day.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Meet me online. These videos show the way I work during an intuitive consultation.
A Tarot Reading with Bonita
A Tarot Reading with Bonita – Work/Venture Spread
A Tarot Reading with Bonita - Relationship Spread
A Tarot Reading with Bonita – Spiritual Path Spread
A Tarot Reading with Bonita – Tools and Techniques
I created these videos to demystify the processes I use during an intuitive consultation. Consider them my personal invitation to meet me by phone, Skype, or in person.
A Tarot Reading with Bonita – Work/Venture Spread
A Tarot Reading with Bonita - Relationship Spread
A Tarot Reading with Bonita – Spiritual Path Spread
A Tarot Reading with Bonita – Tools and Techniques
I created these videos to demystify the processes I use during an intuitive consultation. Consider them my personal invitation to meet me by phone, Skype, or in person.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Therapeutic Touch and the Human Energy Field
Therapeutic Touch is an alternative health modality commonly used in hospitals by nurses, but it's a skill anyone can learn. It helps elicit a relaxation response from the client and it can reduce pain and support the body's natural healing process. While it can be performed without physical contact - making it the most non-invasive treatment possible - clients who are comfortable with touch generally benefit from some contact during a session of Therapeutic Touch.
While some practitioners are naturally sensitive to the human energy field and can sense it without assistance, most of us need some training to experience the field or enhance our ability to pick up and interpret the many nuances the field offers.
The field of energy in living things flows naturally from the head to the feet. The job of a Therapeutic Touch practitioner is to assess the field for disruptions in flow, which may manifest as congestion or depletion of energy at various locations in the field. The practitioner then restores the human energy field so that its flow is once again smooth and uninterrupted.
I cannot expound enough on the benefits of relaxation provided by Therapeutic Touch. I work with some of my clients in their homes, especially those with mobility issues. Some of them have chronic pain. Yet, it's not uncommon for them to fall asleep as soon as I begin the session. I often tiptoe out at the end, leaving them in a deep pain-free slumber. As a perk of performing Therapeutic Touch, I find myself relaxed and with energy to spare.
Therapeutic Touch is also useful as a calming agent for distressed animals. In my volunteer work as a driver for a wildlife rescue organization, I provide Therapeutic Touch in transit to help the animal cope with its injuries and the stress of transportation to the facility.
Courses in Therapeutic Touch are offered in three levels, but Level 1 is all that is needed for people who want to use it at home with their family and pets. While Level 1 is fine for home use, Levels 2 and 3 deepen one's ability to assess the finer nuances of the human energy field and its various layers, not only feeling tactile differences but using the other senses to spot changes as well. People who become very proficient in Therapeutic Touch, and learn to harness the energy available to all of us for healing, find great satisfaction in offering an alternative health modality that benefits not only the client but the practitioner as well.
(Bukisa ID #125065)
Content Source: Therapeutic Touch and the Human Energy Field - Bukisa.com
How to Find the Love of your Life
"Why do I always date losers?" Haven't we all had friends who've bemoaned their love life - or lack thereof - in this way? We've all known people whose chief complaint is that they keep attracting the wrong type of person into their life. If you count yourself among the lovelorn who never seems to find the right match, it's time to look at the common denominator in all these botched romances - you.
The mistake we often make when trying to solve any situation is to look outside ourselves for the answer. Dr. Harville Hendrix in his book "Getting the Love you Want" explains how the reptilian part of our brains - the brainstem - causes us to be attracted to people who represent the best and worst qualities of our original caretakers. So if your relationship with your parents was an unhealthy one, it stands to reason that you will attract people with similar characteristics as lovers - not because you're masochistic, but simply because your brain says, "Go for this one. There's something familiar here." Think about how often someone you met who seemed great at first turned out to be a total loser (at least, in your opinion). How often did you first see the desirable traits of your parents manifest in this person only to see the negative traits later on?
After the end of my first marriage, I found myself back on the dating scene and attracting more men who wound up reminding me of my father - and not in a good way. I took two major steps to rectify this situation:
1. I started going out with men for whom I felt no immediate attraction whatsoever. This may sound counterintuitive for dating, but it actually started a process of rewiring my brain to be attracted to the right kind of person. That part of me that loved the bad boy was looking for the dad who yelled at me and called me names. By ignoring that part and going out instead with the nice guys, I gradually found myself more attracted to men who showed kinder qualities and who also possessed the dynamism and drive my father had in the ways that were a positive part of his personality.
2. I thought about what qualities I wanted in a partner - and developed them in myself. All too often, we use a lover as a crutch, wanting that person to be everything we're not. When we become what we want to see in a partner, we attract someone with those characteristics.
Start with you and make these changes. You'll be surprised at who comes calling when you become what you're looking for.
(Bukisa ID #125450)
Content Source: How to Find the Love of your Life - Bukisa.com
Therapeutic Touch for Animals: A Day in the Life of a Practitioner
I've just arrived home from the office and the phone is ringing. Sue Meech at the Sandy Pines Animal Rescue Centre is calling. Can I go to a location in my town and pick up an injured bird? As a volunteer driver for Sandy Pines, I'm happy to comply.
I arrive at the location minutes later to find a very frightened and injured seagull in a cardboard box. I carefully set the box down in the car and perform Therapeutic Touch on the restless creature. She begins to calm down. During the drive, however, she becomes agitated by the journey and tries to free herself from her confines. "We've got a feisty one here," I tell the attendants when I arrive.
We take her into the flight cage where I can administer more Therapeutic Touch. She's hungry and scared but not too badly hurt. She'll make it. Not all of them do, but I have the honour of easing their passage with the modality in which I'm trained. Before I leave, I tend to other birds, and I calm a dog who's injured and terrified.
Since Therapeutic Touch works on the energy field of living things, it's not necessary to use physical contact (though it's desirable in some circumstances). This makes it immensely useful when treating animals that would be dangerous if handled. Therapeutic Touch can ease pain and it induces a state of deep relaxation. Animals are very sensitive to it and tend to respond well to the process. They will also let you know when they've had enough by moving away from you.
I arrive home to relax with my dogs, regular recipients of Therapeutic Touch along with our two cats. As evening descends, I hear a strange cry from one of the cats outside the front door. He has brought home a mouse - and it's still alive. I get him to drop it gently on the ground, and I take the cat inside the house where he can't cause further injury. I perform Therapeutic Touch on the mouse, which is breathing but not moving, even when I gently touch it to assess how badly injured it is. I do some more work on the mouse and step inside to get a towel for it, fearing the worst.
When I come back out, the mouse is upright. It peers at me quizzically before scurrying across the stone path and under the deck to a safe crevice. Apparently, a small dose of energy was all that was needed. It's been a good day for Therapeutic Touch.
(Bukisa ID #125455)
Content Source: Therapeutic Touch for Animals: A Day in the Life of a Practitioner - Bukisa.com
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Scraping the Bottom of the Barrel
It's late afternoon, and I'm digging through the pantry cupboards in a vain attempt to create order amongst the cans of soup, crackers, and bags of rice. It shocks me how much food I can accumulate and not eat, month after month, even years at a time, because that particular food item loses its appeal. I have a huge stock of dried goods with which I have become bored.
What does it say about our society when food becomes entertainment? What do we know about scraping the bottom of the barrel? What do we comprehend about making do?
I haven't forgotten what it was like when I was a single mother with four children to feed. I knew how to work wonders with $20 and a week to go before the next cheque. I could make a pot of soup stretch, and do without a lot of things to ensure my children didn't suffer.
Then, with greater prosperity came that settling into the comfort zone where I had more choices, where I could spend more money on food and clothing - and even afford some luxury items. Sometimes, though, it feels like a prison, having so much and taking on the responsibility to maintain a certain lifestyle.
Friends of mine went on a mission to the Philippines with their children. They were gone for 2 years. When they came back, they only lasted a few months before they left again, back to the Philippines. This time, for good. They couldn't handle the amount of waste they see here, they told me. They said, "It's like living in Disneyland."
It makes me wonder what we've sacrificed in order to acquire all of this stuff, all of this excess food. Often, I think wistfully of shaving my head, donning the robes of a Buddhist nun and retiring to a life of meditation and karma yoga. What material goods would I really miss if I chose that life? Without all the distractions of getting and having, would my internal demons eat me up or could I survive their attacks to my psyche - that trial by fire of the unfettered, untamed mind - and emerge truly free?
The simplicity of that choice is very tempting...
What does it say about our society when food becomes entertainment? What do we know about scraping the bottom of the barrel? What do we comprehend about making do?
I haven't forgotten what it was like when I was a single mother with four children to feed. I knew how to work wonders with $20 and a week to go before the next cheque. I could make a pot of soup stretch, and do without a lot of things to ensure my children didn't suffer.
Then, with greater prosperity came that settling into the comfort zone where I had more choices, where I could spend more money on food and clothing - and even afford some luxury items. Sometimes, though, it feels like a prison, having so much and taking on the responsibility to maintain a certain lifestyle.
Friends of mine went on a mission to the Philippines with their children. They were gone for 2 years. When they came back, they only lasted a few months before they left again, back to the Philippines. This time, for good. They couldn't handle the amount of waste they see here, they told me. They said, "It's like living in Disneyland."
It makes me wonder what we've sacrificed in order to acquire all of this stuff, all of this excess food. Often, I think wistfully of shaving my head, donning the robes of a Buddhist nun and retiring to a life of meditation and karma yoga. What material goods would I really miss if I chose that life? Without all the distractions of getting and having, would my internal demons eat me up or could I survive their attacks to my psyche - that trial by fire of the unfettered, untamed mind - and emerge truly free?
The simplicity of that choice is very tempting...
Sunday, July 5, 2009
2012: The Attunement
Please log on to www.bonitasummers.com and read the section on my upcoming book, 2012: The Attunement. Please let me know by way of email if you'd like to be on the advance notice list so you can be informed when we have a release date for the book.
Thanks for your support.
Bonita
Thanks for your support.
Bonita
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Making Lists
I've always loved lists. They help me remember errands and purchases I need to make. There's a certain satisfaction in making lists of the most mundane tasks and ticking off each one at its completion.
Then there are the internal lists, the shoulds and shouldn'ts we have floating around in our psyches. You have them. We all do. Some you put there yourself, but most of the time, they were started by our parents, our schools, the culture in which we grew up. They gnaw at us, pester us from deep within, creating a distinct sense of unease. Am I doing the right thing? Am I reaching my potential? Am I failing to do something I should be doing? Often, the tension is there but ill-defined.
There's a positive function to that internal set of lists. No doubt, some of our best behaviour is a result of the list of do's and don'ts perpetuating within us from early childhood. However, it's also necessary to dig those lists up now and then and check them. Check them twice. Find out if they're naughty or nice. Do they ripple out of your head as judgement and denigration? Or do they inspire?
Scratch everything off of those lists that feels like a personal putdown - anything that tells you that you can't, that you're not capable. Better yet, create a new list and throw out the dysfunctional ones. Read inspiring books and jot down on your list the words of others that uplift and challenge you in positive ways. Now type up that list and post it somewhere you'll see it every day.
Read it often and imprint it on your mind. Live by it. The best lists don't involve any scratching off of items, because they are things you'll want to do each day for the rest of your life.
Then there are the internal lists, the shoulds and shouldn'ts we have floating around in our psyches. You have them. We all do. Some you put there yourself, but most of the time, they were started by our parents, our schools, the culture in which we grew up. They gnaw at us, pester us from deep within, creating a distinct sense of unease. Am I doing the right thing? Am I reaching my potential? Am I failing to do something I should be doing? Often, the tension is there but ill-defined.
There's a positive function to that internal set of lists. No doubt, some of our best behaviour is a result of the list of do's and don'ts perpetuating within us from early childhood. However, it's also necessary to dig those lists up now and then and check them. Check them twice. Find out if they're naughty or nice. Do they ripple out of your head as judgement and denigration? Or do they inspire?
Scratch everything off of those lists that feels like a personal putdown - anything that tells you that you can't, that you're not capable. Better yet, create a new list and throw out the dysfunctional ones. Read inspiring books and jot down on your list the words of others that uplift and challenge you in positive ways. Now type up that list and post it somewhere you'll see it every day.
Read it often and imprint it on your mind. Live by it. The best lists don't involve any scratching off of items, because they are things you'll want to do each day for the rest of your life.
Friday, June 19, 2009
The Irony of the Red Rug
At Poetry & Company in Kingston on Thursday night, I performed my latest piece, entitled "Rug". The poem is about the last home occupied by our entire family before my parents split up and my mother moved us kids out of the house:
the rich red rug
ran all through the house
upper middle-class opulence
a la 1974
it muffled the sound of your feet
creeping down the hall
(Edited for adult content)
it brimmed over with
her keening pathos
and your snarling invective
running through the house
barking and lascivious
the rich red rug
absorbed our family secrets
congealed them in wealthy prominence
so when your self-congratulating colleagues
came to walk upon it
with their Italian leather shoes
we stiffly wore our happy plastic grins
while rich red rage
rumbled beneath our feet
This poem is indicative of the contrast in our family between the rage buried in each of us and the successful, happy exterior we were expected to show the world. The luxurious, deep-pile rug, which cloaked the floor of the entire house, save for the kitchen and laundry room was symbolic of this cover-up. In the 70's, such wall-to-wall carpeting was associated with wealth and, therefore, well-being.
Today, many of us would tear the rug out, knowing it off-gasses toxins of its own and harbours impurities. I think about that rug and the poison it carried from a deeply unhappy and violent family. I hope that the homeowners who came later had the good sense to rip it out.
However, with Father's Day approaching, I don't remember just the unhappiness, but the intelligence of my father, how hardworking he has always been, his artistic ability, his sense of humour, and the way I felt special as a very young girl, cuddling with him while he watched sports on TV, or the way I thrilled to the horror stories he read to me (at an age when I probably shouldn't have been privy to such tales, but they fueled my interest in the macabre in general and the works of Poe in particular).
I think it must be said that the ones who can inflict great pain upon us can also be the ones who teach and inspire us. From both of my parents, I got my drive, my intelligence, and artistic abilities that find their way into my writing, dancing and singing.
It is healing to remind myself that my parents are complex beings, and that there is nothing black and white about their behaviour. Just like me, they've sought to end their suffering - and as humans, we don't always choose a path to happiness that is kind to others. May they both have joy in their lives today. I wish they knew that they have a daughter who still loves them, even if it must be from afar.
the rich red rug
ran all through the house
upper middle-class opulence
a la 1974
it muffled the sound of your feet
creeping down the hall
(Edited for adult content)
it brimmed over with
her keening pathos
and your snarling invective
running through the house
barking and lascivious
the rich red rug
absorbed our family secrets
congealed them in wealthy prominence
so when your self-congratulating colleagues
came to walk upon it
with their Italian leather shoes
we stiffly wore our happy plastic grins
while rich red rage
rumbled beneath our feet
This poem is indicative of the contrast in our family between the rage buried in each of us and the successful, happy exterior we were expected to show the world. The luxurious, deep-pile rug, which cloaked the floor of the entire house, save for the kitchen and laundry room was symbolic of this cover-up. In the 70's, such wall-to-wall carpeting was associated with wealth and, therefore, well-being.
Today, many of us would tear the rug out, knowing it off-gasses toxins of its own and harbours impurities. I think about that rug and the poison it carried from a deeply unhappy and violent family. I hope that the homeowners who came later had the good sense to rip it out.
However, with Father's Day approaching, I don't remember just the unhappiness, but the intelligence of my father, how hardworking he has always been, his artistic ability, his sense of humour, and the way I felt special as a very young girl, cuddling with him while he watched sports on TV, or the way I thrilled to the horror stories he read to me (at an age when I probably shouldn't have been privy to such tales, but they fueled my interest in the macabre in general and the works of Poe in particular).
I think it must be said that the ones who can inflict great pain upon us can also be the ones who teach and inspire us. From both of my parents, I got my drive, my intelligence, and artistic abilities that find their way into my writing, dancing and singing.
It is healing to remind myself that my parents are complex beings, and that there is nothing black and white about their behaviour. Just like me, they've sought to end their suffering - and as humans, we don't always choose a path to happiness that is kind to others. May they both have joy in their lives today. I wish they knew that they have a daughter who still loves them, even if it must be from afar.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Mask Work - Swimming in the Subconscious
I'm standing before Jacob James, actor and director with the Stratford Theatre, who is graciously taking time from his busy schedule to teach a series of acting classes at the Wellington Street Theatre in Kingston.
I'm new to acting, but not to energy work or tapping into the subconscious, so this feels like familiar ground. With a few preliminary instructions on the sacred art of mask work, he has me don a white mask and slip into a scenario that takes me on a journey into my own mind.
Placing the mask over my face, I close my eyes, and lie down on the floor. Breathing into the mask, I awaken and find myself on the shore of a vast ocean. Walking into the water, I find myself going deeper, ever deeper, and yet able to breathe in the water. I've been instructed to find a gift and see an animal and then fall back to sleep.
As I descend lower, I can feel my limbs become lighter, bobbing with the current. Soon, I notice a Venus flytrap (no matter that they do not exist at the bottom of the ocean - this is my dream). Prying open one of the pods, I find a pearl. I hold it in my hand and relish its glow as it catches the light from above the waves.
Suddenly, a large snake appears. I stroke its head and body as it coils around my waist, drawing me down to the sandy ocean floor where I fall asleep.
It's quite astonishing when we completely let go what we experience of our own mind, whether in an acting scenario, meditation, a Holotropic breathwork or other practice designed to open us to our inner terrain. When we really allow, all kinds of interesting imagery will arise. Why a snake, a Venus flytrap, a pearl? That is for me to ponder at my leisure.
Even more interesting to me is how the brain can generate the environment and objects in the scenario with mere prompting and my willingness to access the subconscious without editing its input.
As I continue to read "The Brain that Changes Itself", I'm astonished at learning how much of our perception is based on the way our brain works - and the choices we make in terms of perception. In his book, Norman Doidge MD writes about an experiment conducted by V.S. Ramachandran, who works to help amputees resolve "phantom pain", which is pain felt in limbs despite the fact that they are no longer there.
In this experiment, Ramachandran asked volunteers to put their right hand under a table while he simultaneously stroked and tapped the hand and the tabletop. This activity caused their brains to associate the tabletop as part of the body (to learn more about brain maps and how they do this, read the book). Then, he smashed the tabletop with a hammer and watched the stress levels of the volunteers skyrocket (measured by instruments to which they were attached). He discovered that the brain determines whether people register pain, and that altering participants' sense of reality (by getting them to associate the tabletop with the body) can influence their experience.
I find this particularly interesting given that I used meditation and self-hypnosis during my last two labours to circumvent the pain process. I suspect few doctors have seen women calmly sitting in a lotus position in hard labour indicating, "I'm ready to push now." The staff were so surprised, they actually placed me on a gurney in that sitting position and wheeled me to the operatory for the birth of my third child. With my ability to bypass the pain process, my husband and I were able to conduct the fourth birth at home by ourselves.
The brain's capacity to create our experience and our ability to consciously determine that experience continues to amaze me. Though we cannot control the external world, we can determine how we will respond to it, and thus influence whether we benefit or suffer as a result.
I'm new to acting, but not to energy work or tapping into the subconscious, so this feels like familiar ground. With a few preliminary instructions on the sacred art of mask work, he has me don a white mask and slip into a scenario that takes me on a journey into my own mind.
Placing the mask over my face, I close my eyes, and lie down on the floor. Breathing into the mask, I awaken and find myself on the shore of a vast ocean. Walking into the water, I find myself going deeper, ever deeper, and yet able to breathe in the water. I've been instructed to find a gift and see an animal and then fall back to sleep.
As I descend lower, I can feel my limbs become lighter, bobbing with the current. Soon, I notice a Venus flytrap (no matter that they do not exist at the bottom of the ocean - this is my dream). Prying open one of the pods, I find a pearl. I hold it in my hand and relish its glow as it catches the light from above the waves.
Suddenly, a large snake appears. I stroke its head and body as it coils around my waist, drawing me down to the sandy ocean floor where I fall asleep.
It's quite astonishing when we completely let go what we experience of our own mind, whether in an acting scenario, meditation, a Holotropic breathwork or other practice designed to open us to our inner terrain. When we really allow, all kinds of interesting imagery will arise. Why a snake, a Venus flytrap, a pearl? That is for me to ponder at my leisure.
Even more interesting to me is how the brain can generate the environment and objects in the scenario with mere prompting and my willingness to access the subconscious without editing its input.
As I continue to read "The Brain that Changes Itself", I'm astonished at learning how much of our perception is based on the way our brain works - and the choices we make in terms of perception. In his book, Norman Doidge MD writes about an experiment conducted by V.S. Ramachandran, who works to help amputees resolve "phantom pain", which is pain felt in limbs despite the fact that they are no longer there.
In this experiment, Ramachandran asked volunteers to put their right hand under a table while he simultaneously stroked and tapped the hand and the tabletop. This activity caused their brains to associate the tabletop as part of the body (to learn more about brain maps and how they do this, read the book). Then, he smashed the tabletop with a hammer and watched the stress levels of the volunteers skyrocket (measured by instruments to which they were attached). He discovered that the brain determines whether people register pain, and that altering participants' sense of reality (by getting them to associate the tabletop with the body) can influence their experience.
I find this particularly interesting given that I used meditation and self-hypnosis during my last two labours to circumvent the pain process. I suspect few doctors have seen women calmly sitting in a lotus position in hard labour indicating, "I'm ready to push now." The staff were so surprised, they actually placed me on a gurney in that sitting position and wheeled me to the operatory for the birth of my third child. With my ability to bypass the pain process, my husband and I were able to conduct the fourth birth at home by ourselves.
The brain's capacity to create our experience and our ability to consciously determine that experience continues to amaze me. Though we cannot control the external world, we can determine how we will respond to it, and thus influence whether we benefit or suffer as a result.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Lucid Dreaming
I'm running down a hallway, having just demanded that the woman I was handcuffed to be locked away. I then sequester myself in a private cell, safe for the moment. The woman in the dream is actress Patricia Arquette who stars in the TV show, Medium. Later in the dream, I'm writing down on a pad of paper the sentence, "What keeps you going?"
It's 4 a.m. and I'm writing down this dream on the pad I keep by my bed. As a lucid dreamer, I'm able to make decisions in the dream state, and to remember my dreams with greater clarity than normally available to the dreaming mind.
Having analysed my dreams since childhood, I'm clear on the meaning. I had been considering a change in focus to my career that would cut me off from my intuition (represented by the actress from Medium) and also limit my creativity severely (putting me in a cell in the dream) by playing it safe. My subconscious painstakingly wrote out the sentence it wanted me to consider carefully. As anyone knows who dreams lucidly, writing something down in the dream state can be hard work, since letters seem to move and shift with the tide of the human mind.
I was a teenager when I first picked up a book on the subject of lucid dreaming, written by Stanford University professor, Stephen Laberge. My dream recall (I can still remember dreams I had when I was eight years old) has often rivalled my memory of waking life, and I'd learned early on how to be completely present in the dream state in order to make conscious choices as to how I reacted - including waking myself just before being trampled by a wooly mammoth!
Laberge's techniques deepened and extended my ability to stay conscious to the point that I learned how to slip into dream imagery and out again without losing consciousness. More than a parlour trick, knowing how to maintain awareness in the dream state means getting the most out of the information that your subconscious has to offer.
Historically, dreams have given forewarning and inspiration to the recipients. Elias Howe invented the needle on the sewing machine based on a dream he had of savages attacking him with spears. Each spear had a hole in the tip, thus giving him the solution as to how the needle should be threaded.
Tibetan buddhists use dreams for spiritual development, with the aim to realizing enlightenment in the dream state.
My dreams have proven useful over the years, providing direction on practical and spiritual matters. It seems a shame that so many of us spend a considerable amount of time sleeping and never utilize the dream state to its full extent.
To improve your dream recall, here are a few tips:
1. Keep a pad of paper by your bedside and write down your first impressions in the morning before you get out of bed. Record images, emotions, phrases that pop into your head - even if they seem nonsensical. Doing this signals to your subconscious your willingness to hear what it has to say. Over time, you'll get more information. Today, my recall often involves writing down as many as seven dreams in the morning in considerable detail.
2. Tell yourself as you fall asleep that you will remember your dreams. Your subconscious is open to suggestion and will offer more information as you persist with this affirmation.
3. As you start to fall asleep, stay aware of the images that arise. Notice when the things you see appear to be dream imagery rather than what you would expect to see in waking life. Tell yourself, "I'm dreaming." It will help you to stay conscious in the dream state.
Dreams are doorways to a rich inner terrain that offers guidance and ideas the waking mind is too busy to realize. Plumb your mind for the treasure it has to give. Dream.
It's 4 a.m. and I'm writing down this dream on the pad I keep by my bed. As a lucid dreamer, I'm able to make decisions in the dream state, and to remember my dreams with greater clarity than normally available to the dreaming mind.
Having analysed my dreams since childhood, I'm clear on the meaning. I had been considering a change in focus to my career that would cut me off from my intuition (represented by the actress from Medium) and also limit my creativity severely (putting me in a cell in the dream) by playing it safe. My subconscious painstakingly wrote out the sentence it wanted me to consider carefully. As anyone knows who dreams lucidly, writing something down in the dream state can be hard work, since letters seem to move and shift with the tide of the human mind.
I was a teenager when I first picked up a book on the subject of lucid dreaming, written by Stanford University professor, Stephen Laberge. My dream recall (I can still remember dreams I had when I was eight years old) has often rivalled my memory of waking life, and I'd learned early on how to be completely present in the dream state in order to make conscious choices as to how I reacted - including waking myself just before being trampled by a wooly mammoth!
Laberge's techniques deepened and extended my ability to stay conscious to the point that I learned how to slip into dream imagery and out again without losing consciousness. More than a parlour trick, knowing how to maintain awareness in the dream state means getting the most out of the information that your subconscious has to offer.
Historically, dreams have given forewarning and inspiration to the recipients. Elias Howe invented the needle on the sewing machine based on a dream he had of savages attacking him with spears. Each spear had a hole in the tip, thus giving him the solution as to how the needle should be threaded.
Tibetan buddhists use dreams for spiritual development, with the aim to realizing enlightenment in the dream state.
My dreams have proven useful over the years, providing direction on practical and spiritual matters. It seems a shame that so many of us spend a considerable amount of time sleeping and never utilize the dream state to its full extent.
To improve your dream recall, here are a few tips:
1. Keep a pad of paper by your bedside and write down your first impressions in the morning before you get out of bed. Record images, emotions, phrases that pop into your head - even if they seem nonsensical. Doing this signals to your subconscious your willingness to hear what it has to say. Over time, you'll get more information. Today, my recall often involves writing down as many as seven dreams in the morning in considerable detail.
2. Tell yourself as you fall asleep that you will remember your dreams. Your subconscious is open to suggestion and will offer more information as you persist with this affirmation.
3. As you start to fall asleep, stay aware of the images that arise. Notice when the things you see appear to be dream imagery rather than what you would expect to see in waking life. Tell yourself, "I'm dreaming." It will help you to stay conscious in the dream state.
Dreams are doorways to a rich inner terrain that offers guidance and ideas the waking mind is too busy to realize. Plumb your mind for the treasure it has to give. Dream.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Searching the Shadow
It's 2:30 a.m. and I've finished a thorough housecleaning I felt inspired to begin at midnight. The need for order overwhelmed me. Tidying up was also a vain attempt to sweep away thoughts that arise in the wee hours, that time when the world is quiet and we have no distraction from our shadow self.
It's then that it's most tempting to dissolve into sleep, ignoring the unfinished business of the psyche. Yet, this uninterrupted period is when we can best confront what we wish to ignore about ourselves: our pettiness, our inconsistencies, our fears and reactive indulgences. Honesty reigns when there is no one to rescue us from ourselves.
Take time on occasion to embrace the hours after midnight, to sit with your demons and discover the treasure beneath the dross of the human mind. Beneath the bullshit we feed ourselves to prop up our egos, there lies pure truth. Within, we find the Observer who never thinks to wear the tired costume of identity, role, and plot. The Observer simply is, with no need to impress or further one's aims. If you can forget the ego for a moment and dwell in the Observer, I guarantee you will find a simple sense of peace, a recognition that all is as it should be, a connection to the benevolence that permeates everything.
It's only when we stop running away from our shadow and sit with it until it dissolves that we know ourselves to be the Observer, that we know peace.
It's then that it's most tempting to dissolve into sleep, ignoring the unfinished business of the psyche. Yet, this uninterrupted period is when we can best confront what we wish to ignore about ourselves: our pettiness, our inconsistencies, our fears and reactive indulgences. Honesty reigns when there is no one to rescue us from ourselves.
Take time on occasion to embrace the hours after midnight, to sit with your demons and discover the treasure beneath the dross of the human mind. Beneath the bullshit we feed ourselves to prop up our egos, there lies pure truth. Within, we find the Observer who never thinks to wear the tired costume of identity, role, and plot. The Observer simply is, with no need to impress or further one's aims. If you can forget the ego for a moment and dwell in the Observer, I guarantee you will find a simple sense of peace, a recognition that all is as it should be, a connection to the benevolence that permeates everything.
It's only when we stop running away from our shadow and sit with it until it dissolves that we know ourselves to be the Observer, that we know peace.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Trusting that Still Small Voice
It's not always easy, listening to our intuition. One of the reasons that people often don't pay attention to the still, small voice within is that it will tell them to do things that counter decisions the rational mind has made.
It's the ego-oriented mind that tells us to play it safe, go along, compromise - even when it's not ultimately in our best interest. The ego wants to preserve what is, since the status quo is where it has anchored its identity. The ego is all about maintaining itself - often at the cost of our well-being and happiness.
The intuitive mind lives in the moment, ignores the ego's suppositions about what is known, and occasionally acts in ways that confound egoic logic. Our intuition has access to information that the rational mind does not, which is why it can demonstrate knowledge without derivation.
If we listen to that inner voice, we may find ourselves making choices that seem illogical in the present or to the rational observer. Yet, it is the intuitive mind, tapping into universal consciousness that will take us to our ultimate happiness.
Anti-chaos theory suggests that there is no chaos - just a pattern too large for us to see close up. Intuition shows us the piece of the pattern most pertinent to us in the moment. If we have faith in our inner voice and act on the information it provides, gradually we will see the logic behind that information and the pattern into which we fit. It is only in retrospect that we will understand why it was correct to follow that hunch and trust our instincts.
It's the ego-oriented mind that tells us to play it safe, go along, compromise - even when it's not ultimately in our best interest. The ego wants to preserve what is, since the status quo is where it has anchored its identity. The ego is all about maintaining itself - often at the cost of our well-being and happiness.
The intuitive mind lives in the moment, ignores the ego's suppositions about what is known, and occasionally acts in ways that confound egoic logic. Our intuition has access to information that the rational mind does not, which is why it can demonstrate knowledge without derivation.
If we listen to that inner voice, we may find ourselves making choices that seem illogical in the present or to the rational observer. Yet, it is the intuitive mind, tapping into universal consciousness that will take us to our ultimate happiness.
Anti-chaos theory suggests that there is no chaos - just a pattern too large for us to see close up. Intuition shows us the piece of the pattern most pertinent to us in the moment. If we have faith in our inner voice and act on the information it provides, gradually we will see the logic behind that information and the pattern into which we fit. It is only in retrospect that we will understand why it was correct to follow that hunch and trust our instincts.
Monday, April 27, 2009
The Perpetual Night Owl
Why do I find myself writing in the early hours of the morning? What prompts me to start cooking at midnight or decide to redesign one of my websites under cover of darkness? At 46 years of age, you'd think I'd heed the warnings that running on four hours of sleep a night isn't healthy for a body pushing middle age.
Still, there is a hunger to make useful most of the time that has been handed to me in this life. As a young child I feared death not because I saw it as an end, but because I envisioned myself lying in a box for eternity in a perpetual state of boredom. Ever the vivid dreamer, even my nights don't afford much quietude. Awake or asleep, my mind seeks refuge from inertia.
So I find myself seized at odd hours with poetic thoughts that must be documented, desires for eggplant lasagna that must be satisfied, and fears that my time is running out - even if I've 40 more years left.
I fight that ticking tyrant, will it to slow while I figure out who I'm going to be when I finally grow up - this 46-year-old who still feels like a kid on the inside (and most days on the outside, too). I console myself that many folks have made their mark late in life, and that there's still time for me to accomplish some great purpose.
Then, I remind myself of the many small acts I perform that make a difference to someone each day. I resolve to retire for the night... as soon as I water the plants, do a few loads of laundry, and take out the garbage destined for morning pick-up... four hours from now.
Still, there is a hunger to make useful most of the time that has been handed to me in this life. As a young child I feared death not because I saw it as an end, but because I envisioned myself lying in a box for eternity in a perpetual state of boredom. Ever the vivid dreamer, even my nights don't afford much quietude. Awake or asleep, my mind seeks refuge from inertia.
So I find myself seized at odd hours with poetic thoughts that must be documented, desires for eggplant lasagna that must be satisfied, and fears that my time is running out - even if I've 40 more years left.
I fight that ticking tyrant, will it to slow while I figure out who I'm going to be when I finally grow up - this 46-year-old who still feels like a kid on the inside (and most days on the outside, too). I console myself that many folks have made their mark late in life, and that there's still time for me to accomplish some great purpose.
Then, I remind myself of the many small acts I perform that make a difference to someone each day. I resolve to retire for the night... as soon as I water the plants, do a few loads of laundry, and take out the garbage destined for morning pick-up... four hours from now.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Brain Plasticity and the Dangers of "Rigid" Thinking
Reading about the plasticity of the human brain in "The Brain that Changes Itself" by Norman Doidge, MD, drives home the realization of the necessity for varied activity. It's not enough to do well at our usual tasks; we have to continually think outside the box. If we don't, we risk losing areas of the brain that could be devoted to a variety of functions to those that are most predominant.
A simplistic life literally leads to a simpler brain map. If we want to continue to grow new neural pathways, if we want to develop creative muscle and maintain our brains into later life, we have to recognize how clearly the adage "use it or lose it" applies to brain tissue.
We have become a pleasure-seeking society, often looking for the most comfortable route through life. We need to scare ourselves a little, take the path of most resistance, go out on the most tenuous limb. We need to attempt those very things we're least sure we can accomplish.
A friend of mine spent an entire year doing things she "sucked at". At the end of the year, she'd discovered some latent talents, but she'd also found many areas in which she remained unskilled. The great gift of this experience was the realization that her world didn't end when she failed at something. She became far more accepting of herself and appreciative of her own adventurous nature.
Young children seldom think about failure - until uptight adults suggest the possibility - and they have a lot of fun trying new things. If we can adopt the exploratory nature of children, we may benefit not only in our enjoyment of life but maintain healthy brains long into our old age and enhance our ability to traverse more deeply the great inner terrain of our minds.
A simplistic life literally leads to a simpler brain map. If we want to continue to grow new neural pathways, if we want to develop creative muscle and maintain our brains into later life, we have to recognize how clearly the adage "use it or lose it" applies to brain tissue.
We have become a pleasure-seeking society, often looking for the most comfortable route through life. We need to scare ourselves a little, take the path of most resistance, go out on the most tenuous limb. We need to attempt those very things we're least sure we can accomplish.
A friend of mine spent an entire year doing things she "sucked at". At the end of the year, she'd discovered some latent talents, but she'd also found many areas in which she remained unskilled. The great gift of this experience was the realization that her world didn't end when she failed at something. She became far more accepting of herself and appreciative of her own adventurous nature.
Young children seldom think about failure - until uptight adults suggest the possibility - and they have a lot of fun trying new things. If we can adopt the exploratory nature of children, we may benefit not only in our enjoyment of life but maintain healthy brains long into our old age and enhance our ability to traverse more deeply the great inner terrain of our minds.
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