The Perpetual Night Owl

Why do I find myself writing in the early hours of the morning? What prompts me to start cooking at midnight or decide to redesign one of my websites under cover of darkness? At 46 years of age, you'd think I'd heed the warnings that running on four hours of sleep a night isn't healthy for a body pushing middle age.

Still, there is a hunger to make useful most of the time that has been handed to me in this life. As a young child I feared death not because I saw it as an end, but because I envisioned myself lying in a box for eternity in a perpetual state of boredom. Ever the vivid dreamer, even my nights don't afford much quietude. Awake or asleep, my mind seeks refuge from inertia.

So I find myself seized at odd hours with poetic thoughts that must be documented, desires for eggplant lasagna that must be satisfied, and fears that my time is running out - even if I've 40 more years left.

I fight that ticking tyrant, will it to slow while I figure out who I'm going to be when I finally grow up - this 46-year-old who still feels like a kid on the inside (and most days on the outside, too). I console myself that many folks have made their mark late in life, and that there's still time for me to accomplish some great purpose.

Then, I remind myself of the many small acts I perform that make a difference to someone each day. I resolve to retire for the night... as soon as I water the plants, do a few loads of laundry, and take out the garbage destined for morning pick-up... four hours from now.

Brain Plasticity and the Dangers of "Rigid" Thinking

Reading about the plasticity of the human brain in "The Brain that Changes Itself" by Norman Doidge, MD, drives home the realization of the necessity for varied activity. It's not enough to do well at our usual tasks; we have to continually think outside the box. If we don't, we risk losing areas of the brain that could be devoted to a variety of functions to those that are most predominant.

A simplistic life literally leads to a simpler brain map. If we want to continue to grow new neural pathways, if we want to develop creative muscle and maintain our brains into later life, we have to recognize how clearly the adage "use it or lose it" applies to brain tissue.

We have become a pleasure-seeking society, often looking for the most comfortable route through life. We need to scare ourselves a little, take the path of most resistance, go out on the most tenuous limb. We need to attempt those very things we're least sure we can accomplish.

A friend of mine spent an entire year doing things she "sucked at". At the end of the year, she'd discovered some latent talents, but she'd also found many areas in which she remained unskilled. The great gift of this experience was the realization that her world didn't end when she failed at something. She became far more accepting of herself and appreciative of her own adventurous nature.

Young children seldom think about failure - until uptight adults suggest the possibility - and they have a lot of fun trying new things. If we can adopt the exploratory nature of children, we may benefit not only in our enjoyment of life but maintain healthy brains long into our old age and enhance our ability to traverse more deeply the great inner terrain of our minds.